Misplaced Island Time


 

As I've previously stated, one of the first things required when arriving in Maui, is to get your island on.  That means slowing down, getting off that rat race rush, and getting on "Island Time."  One day, I was not on island time.  It didn't go well.  We were scheduled on a morning whalewatch in Lahaina, where I came very close to getting into a beef (fight) with a local. Here's the abbreviated version. 

 

We were late for the whalewatch (Which was prepaid) due to traffic caused by wildfires burning in West Maui. As we rolled in to town there was a crosswalk, which unbeknownst to me, lead to an elementary school. There are no stop signs, but if someone is standing there you stop to let them cross. No one was there, but as I was about to roll through it,  a man with a stop sign came running into the road. I stopped the just short of the crosswalk as he waited for a woman to walk down the street. After waiting for her to arrive and cross, she stopped to give him a hug and kiss as he continued to hold up the stop sign and chit chat with her.

 

At this point, after enduring an hour of traffic and this blatant abuse of island time, all three of us in the car were seething. In chorus, we all yelled,"C'MON!!!" As the aloha shirt clad crossing guard realized he was holding up traffic, he slowly moved toward the curb. I then accidentally applied too much pressure to the accelerator, and as the tires touched the stripe, they chirped ever so slightly. (That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.) 

 

I then dropped Heidi off to check us in, as Colleen and I went in search of parking. After circling the block, we found a parking lot. As we got out of the car, a beat up Chevy Blazer pulled up behind us. 

 

An obviously angry Hawaiian man got out of his car and got right in my face. "What the hell is wrong with you, peeling out in a school zone?!" We then tried to explain our plight, but he was having none of it, as he only got more mad. He then started dropping F-Bombs, and said, "I oughtta conk you right on the head, man." It was at that point I noticed his now crying 5-year-old girl clinging to his leg. I said, "Look dude, I was wrong. I'm sorry, but all you're doing now is scaring your little girl." 

 

I finally just stepped past him, and he decided not to follow.  Which I'm glad of, because I'm guessing the Maui Police wouldn't have taken my side if we had actually started fighting. 

 

Besides, who wants to get conked on the head?!

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